The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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