They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize