Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
