Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
