I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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