I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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