In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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