4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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