My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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