YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
