i was born a porn star she said
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
