I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
