Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
