We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
