I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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