how can u be prego again
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
