You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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