he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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