yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
