I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
