Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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