I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
