People with herpes should wear stickers.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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