just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
