She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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