I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
