you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
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Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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