got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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