My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
