What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
