i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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