But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I wear drunk well.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
