im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
