blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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