its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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