dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize