Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize