Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
