Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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