omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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