I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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