I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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