So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
