Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
