I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
