ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
