last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
