garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Tell her she can't have a vagina
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
