dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so let's talk penis.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My breath smells like gin and sadness
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
