Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.

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(256): One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project. http://tfl.nu/03dc

Replies (38) Good night (1489) Bad night (5161)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on

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(412): i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on http://tfl.nu/87g6

Replies (38) Good night (6156) Bad night (1188)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Hm. I declare blue a flavor.

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(843): Hm. I declare blue a flavor. http://tfl.nu/1q5w

Replies (58) Good night (6896) Bad night (876)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.

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(913): I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough. http://tfl.nu/u5ru

Replies (26) Good night (802) Bad night (4245)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"

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(612): He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?" http://tfl.nu/lotk

Replies (10) Good night (3375) Bad night (1306)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.

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(865): It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14. http://tfl.nu/nc65

Replies (8) Good night (4040) Bad night (1176)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?

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(618): I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day? http://tfl.nu/kj71

Replies (11) Good night (1397) Bad night (3316)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids

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(302): I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids http://tfl.nu/6v45

Replies (15) Good night (1924) Bad night (1195)
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(517): View more from Michigan

This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.

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(517): This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/9rmg

Replies (5) Good night (1607) Bad night (711)
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(817): View more from Texas

I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

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(817): I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face. http://tfl.nu/oog9

Replies (8) Good night (794) Bad night (3730)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!

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(847): Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild. (1-847): I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free! http://tfl.nu/lmxn

Replies (3) Good night (1253) Bad night (542)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Are we in any of the areas with tornados?

(931): View more from Tennessee

Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.

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(520): Are we in any of the areas with tornados? (931): Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/dq1c

Replies (2) Good night (1021) Bad night (437)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.

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(859): Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested. http://tfl.nu/b8k3

Replies (8) Good night (933) Bad night (575)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.

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(816): Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break. http://tfl.nu/ueuh

Replies (5) Good night (446) Bad night (600)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.

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(218): His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me. http://tfl.nu/111u

Replies (0) Good night (687) Bad night (384)

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