I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week