Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable