you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.