Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.

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  (248): piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up. http://tfl.nu/j6d2
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (1120)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.

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  (352): Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance. http://tfl.nu/csuc
  Replies (178) Good night (4065) Bad night (885)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.

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  (704): IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT. http://tfl.nu/nkol
  Replies (18) Good night (972) Bad night (4923)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I don't wanna die...

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  (423): I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!! (615): I don't wanna die... http://tfl.nu/h1ht
  Replies (10) Good night (6754) Bad night (1201)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.

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  (515): On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it. http://tfl.nu/mvhu
  Replies (12) Good night (6943) Bad night (1187)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween

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  (317): having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween http://tfl.nu/sqve
  Replies (8) Good night (3020) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...

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  (248): im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend... http://tfl.nu/rj6y
  Replies (4) Good night (2388) Bad night (1087)
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  (213): View more from California

  I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus

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  (213): I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus http://tfl.nu/i6gi
  Replies (5) Good night (834) Bad night (1750)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

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  (312): That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison. http://tfl.nu/qs9j
  Replies (22) Good night (1495) Bad night (742)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.

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  (306): I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later. http://tfl.nu/c155
  Replies (3) Good night (856) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.

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  (631): You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high. http://tfl.nu/qikm
  Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (379)
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  (209): View more from California

  I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat

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  (209): I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat http://tfl.nu/qvh1
  Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (297)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.

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  (954): Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie. http://tfl.nu/d57l
  Replies (8) Good night (350) Bad night (1429)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story

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  (775): This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story http://tfl.nu/e7wa
  Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was

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  (510): i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was http://tfl.nu/ppih
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (274)

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