Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it http://tfl.nu/b75j
  Replies (32) Good night (869) Bad night (7180)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays? http://tfl.nu/wnqx
  Replies (24) Good night (9371) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation? http://tfl.nu/efhg
  Replies (37) Good night (2919) Bad night (2697)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood. http://tfl.nu/a0o1
  Replies (35) Good night (5335) Bad night (1860)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/snfb
  Replies (23) Good night (1386) Bad night (4636)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered. http://tfl.nu/u71a
  Replies (15) Good night (7558) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever http://tfl.nu/wkge
  Replies (6) Good night (3425) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You? http://tfl.nu/qxi1
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (1460)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions. http://tfl.nu/ahrr
  Replies (3) Good night (1147) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing. http://tfl.nu/j85g
  Replies (8) Good night (1017) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino. http://tfl.nu/qmu0
  Replies (5) Good night (1194) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it http://tfl.nu/2d0a
  Replies (1) Good night (909) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8
  Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities. (240): Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing. http://tfl.nu/nf7v
  Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (252): I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight http://tfl.nu/i3ic
  Replies (0) Good night (218) Bad night (458)

Randomize