Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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