If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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