shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
