are you so shy because you have an std?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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