I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize