Say something about gay babies.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
