we're chasing vodka with high fives
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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