I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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