He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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