I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
