belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
