quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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