it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize