Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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