nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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