I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I need water and some morals
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
