So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
