I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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